


The Great Misérables Bake Off

by kjack89



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - The Great British Bake Off Fusion, Baking, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 08:10:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8616307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjack89/pseuds/kjack89
Summary: It’s bread week on the Great Misérables Bake Off. Which baker will meet Valjean’s high standards with their bread? Will a French classic be enough to stop some bakers in their tracks? And who almost throws away their entire bake off career in protest of the showstopper challenge?





	1. Signature and Technical Bakes

**Author's Note:**

> Both [unpeubrillante](http://unpeubrillante.tumblr.com/) and [ihopeintangoyouhavemoreluck](https://tmblr.co/m5QTWe8VfcQw4xY7Z9yOz-w) requested Great British Bake Off AUs, so I hope neither minds that I am combining their requests into a two-part fic, with part 2 coming tomorrow. unpeubrillante requested E/R and Marius being Marius, while ihopeintangoyouhavemoreluck wanted some Combeferre/Courfeyrac fluff, so I’ve done my best to incorporate both.
> 
> I absolutely LOVE the Great British Bake Off (like it literally sustained me through the last few weeks of campaigning), so the best way that I could think to write a GBBO AU was to write it as a transcript of the show. As such, I’ve done my best to honor the spirit of the show, even if it sacrifices my usual flowery descriptions.

_The following is a transcript of the unaired fourth episode of Season 3 of The Great Misérables Bake Off. As readers may know, Season 3 was cancelled following the fifth episode when it was revealed that both a host and a judge had become romantically involved with two contestants behind the scenes and when a third contestant tried to arrest the other judge. This transcript, broken into two parts, has been provided for legal purposes pending multiple lawsuits against the studio, contestants, judges and, in one unfortunate incident, the cameraman.  
_

_The show’s editors regret to inform readers that only the final cut of the episode is available. Unedited material has been mysteriously misplaced. However, we believe that the edited material shows a clear sense of what transpired leading up to the events of the 5th episode, which can be viewed in their entirety in the previously provided footage._

[CAMERA: Opens on typical overcast British summer day. COURFEYRAC and ÉPONINE are sitting under a tree. ÉPONINE’S arms are crossed and she looks downcast.]

COURFEYRAC: I have a joke to cheer you up. Why are our bakers going to be in a panic today?

ÉPONINE: [without enthusiasm] Why?

COURFEYRAC: Because they’re going to be in a _loaf_ or death situation!

[ÉPONINE ROLLS HER EYES.]

ÉPONINE: Are you trying to get a _rise_ out of me with how bad that joke was?

COURFEYRAC: Not at all! I’m just trying to _leaven_ the mood!

ÉPONINE AND COURFEYRAC: [In unison, to camera] It’s bread week on the Great Misérables Bake Off!

[Footage from the previous week shows as ÉPONINE provides voiceover commentary.]

ÉPONINE, V.O: Last time, despite a strong showing from not-for-profit activist Enjolras and nursery school teacher Musichetta, it was police officer Javert who became this year’s third star baker for his chocolate cake display of the Seine river. And while gardener Jehan and law student Marius both struggled with their cake showstoppers, a last place finish in the technical and an overbaked Kołacz meant factory worker Feuilly had to leave the tent. Now, it’s bread week. Which baker will meet Valjean’s high standards with their bread? Will a French classic be enough to stop some bakers in their tracks? And who almost throws away their entire bake off career in protest of the showstopper challenge?

[Opening Credits]

[CAMERA: Pans to follow the ten remaining BAKERS as they head into the tent for this week’s bake. All look cheerful, if a little nervous, with the exception of JAVERT, whose customary scowl is in place, and ENJOLRAS, whose face seems alight with revolutionary fervor. The BAKERS take their places behind their stations and COURFEYRAC, ÉPONINE, VALJEAN and COSETTE line up at the front of the tent.]

ÉPONINE: Good morning, bakers! As you know, it’s bread week. Our esteemed judge Valjean has been considered by many to be a bread expert. Now, Valjean, what type of bread would you say is your favorite?

[VALJEAN chuckles, and for some reason, JAVERT’S scowl deepens.]

VALJEAN: I’m not going to tell them that! But I will say, I like a savory bread.

[COSETTE smiles sweetly at the bakers.]

COSETTE: And I love a delicious sweet bread.

COURFEYRAC: Thankfully, you won’t have to choose between satisfying one judge or the other. Instead, Valjean and Cosette would like you to make 12 sweet and 12 savory rolls. They can be any flavor you like, but they need to be uniform in size and shape, and there must be 12 of each.

ÉPONINE: You’ve got four hours to complete this signature bake. On your marks—

COURFEYRAC: Get set—

ÉPONINE AND COURFEYRAC: [In unison] BAKE!

[CAMERA: Wide shot of the tent as the BAKERS scuttle to work. Zoom in on SISTER SIMPLICE, who is unconcernedly measuring flour into a bowl.]

SIMPLICE: As a nun, I think I’ve got to be the calmest of the lot, don’t I?

[SIMPLICE looks at the camera and winks.]

SIMPLICE: Makes ‘em nervous to not see me sweat.

[CAMERA: Cut to GRANTAIRE, who is giving SIMPLICE the side eye.]

GRANTAIRE: [To camera] Well of course _she_ wouldn’t be worried. She’s got God on her side.

[GRANTAIRE nods toward ENJOLRAS, whose station is in front of his.]

GRANTAIRE: Some of us have got God working in front of us.

[CAMERA: Quick cut to SIMPLICE, who just shakes her head and crosses herself. Quick cut and slight zoom out to ENJOLRAS’S station as VALJEAN and COSETTE work their way over.]

VALJEAN: Good morning, Enjolras.

[ENJOLRAS doesn’t look up from where he’s measuring raspberries and sugar into a pot.]

ENJOLRAS: Morning.

VALJEAN: Right, what are you up to?

ENJOLRAS: I am making raspberry swirl rolls for my sweet rolls and for my savory, I am doing a dark rye Kaiser roll.

[CAMERA: Cut to an illustration of ENJOLRAS’s two types of rolls.]

COURFEYRAC, V.O: Enjolras is going for a ‘red and black’ theme this week, much as he has both previous weeks. He will be covering his sweet rolls with icing and topping his Kaiser rolls with poppy seeds and onions.

[CAMERA: Cut back to ENJOLRAS’S station. COSETTE looks concerned.]

COSETTE: Rye flour can give a bit of a close texture, and you’re probably looking at vastly different proving times.

[ENJOLRAS flashes COSETTE a distracted smile. Behind him, GRANTAIRE fans himself.]

ENJOLRAS: I think I can handle it.

[CAMERA: Quick cut to GRANTAIRE, who winks.]

GRANTAIRE: [To camera] He can handle me anytime.

[CAMERA: Cut to JEHAN’S station, where JEHAN is buttering the sides of miniature flower pots.]

COSETTE: Good morning, Jehan. That looks interesting.

[JEHAN beams at her.]

JEHAN: I found this old bread book where the author talks about baking in earthenware pots, and I thought, since I’ve got a glut of them around the flat, why not, you know?

VALJEAN: So will those be your sweet or your savory rolls?

JEHAN: Those will be my savory rolls. My sweet rolls will be freeform buns.

[CAMERA: Cut to an illustration of JEHAN’s two types of rolls.]

ÉPONINE, V.O: Jehan’s flowerpot rolls will be fresh herb rolls with cheddar cheese. His dessert buns will be chili chocolate.

[CAMERA: Cut to MUSICHETTA’S station as she is nervously playing with the end of her hijab, reading over her lists of instructions.]

MUSICHETTA: I think I’ve got everything planned out. For my savory, I’m doing a take on an Iranian Taftan and using saffron and cardamom to flavor my rolls. And for the sweet rolls, I’m using coriander and pairing it with lemon.

ÉPONINE, V.O.: Musichetta’s not the only baker relying on Middle Eastern flavors for her rolls. Med student Joly is also bringing drawing on the Middle East for inspiration, but he’s using the flavors for his sweet rolls.

[CAMERA: Cut to JOLY’S station as he is dicing dates.]

JOLY: One of my favorite things in the world to eat for breakfast is Khubz Mohala. Since Valjean and Cosette didn’t say we had to do dessert rolls, just sweet rolls, I figure I can sneak it in. And the key is this delightful date syrup that I’m going to make which really keeps it nice and sweet.

[CAMERA: Cut to an illustration of JOLY’S two types of rolls.]

COURFEYRAC, V.O: Joly’s Khubz Mohala will be accompanied by savory garlic herb rolls.

[CAMERA: Cut back to JOLY’s station, where ÉPONINE is standing beside him.]

ÉPONINE: Now, Musichetta there is also doing Middle Eastern rolls. Do you think since she’s actually originally from the region, that gives her a leg up on you?

JOLY: No, I think that if she wants to copy my brilliant idea, it means I’m doing something right.

[CAMERA: Cut to MUSICHETTA, who shakes her fist jokingly at JOLY. Cut to GRANTAIRE’S station, where he is cutting up cheese as COSETTE and VALJEAN join him.]

COSETTE: Good morning, Grantaire. What are you making for us today?

GRANTAIRE: Well, you know how I like to do themes, and I figured for today, I wanted to sort of draw on Greek flavors, since I have Apollo himself as inspiration in front of me.

[GRANTAIRE nods toward ENJOLRAS, who gives no appearance that he has heard, though the tips of his ears seem to turn red. GRANTAIRE grins.]

GRANTAIRE: So for my savory, I’m doing an olive and feta roll, and for my sweet, I’m doing a take on Tsoureki.

COURFEYRAC, V.O.: Tsoureki is a sweet Greek bread served at Easter with a red Easter egg in the middle.

VALJEAN: Tsoureki’s an interesting bread, mainly because of the texture, which is sort of a cross between bread and cake. Are you confident that it’ll be bready enough for us?

[GRANTAIRE shrugs.]

GRANTAIRE: Could go either way, I suppose. When I practiced at home, it was definitely bready, so that’s good enough for me.

[VALJEAN examines him closely for a moment before nodding.]

VALJEAN: Right. Well, good luck.

[VALJEAN and COSETTE move on and GRANTAIRE frowns down at his dough for a moment, looking lost in thought. GRANTAIRE carefully picks up an olive, hefts it in his hand, and then throws it at the back of ENJOLRAS’S head. When ENJOLRAS turns around, scowling, GRANTAIRE has already returned to his dough and is whistling to himself while grinning.]

[CAMERA: Cut to JAVERT’S station, where Javert is kneading his dough with perhaps more force than necessary. COSETTE and VALJEAN approach.]

VALJEAN: Morning, Javert.

[JAVERT ignores him.]

COSETTE: Can you tell us about your rolls, please? What are you making?

[Though JAVERT continues to not look up at either of them, he at least reluctantly talks to COSETTE.]

JAVERT: 12 sweet rolls and 12 savory rolls.

VALJEAN: And I don’t suppose you want to tell us how you’re planning on flavoring those?

[JAVERT finally looks up enough to glare at VALJEAN, who looks momentarily taken aback.]

JAVERT: No. I don’t suppose I do.

ÉPONINE, V.O.: While Javert doesn’t seem too keen to share what he’s planning on baking, academic researcher Combeferre is having no such qualms.

[CAMERA: Cut to COMBEFERRE’S station, where COMBEFERRE is trying to slice glacé cherries but is having a difficult time ignoring COURFEYRAC, who is leaning against his station and grinning at him.]

COURFEYRAC: Did I ever tell you that cherry bread is one of the favorite things my mum used to make for me?

COMBEFERRE: Um, no, I don’t think you did. When would you possibly have mentioned that?

[Despite his denial, COMBEFERRE gives COURFEYRAC a furtive smile and COURFEYRAC’S grin widens.]

COURFEYRAC: Can I tell everyone that I was your inspiration?

COMBEFERRE: If I say no, would that stop you?

[COURFEYRAC grabs a glacé cherry and pops it in his mouth.]

COURFEYRAC: I suppose not. But just remember…

[Now he takes another glacé cherry and holds it up to COMBEFERRE’S lips.]

COURFEYRAC: You can pop my cherry at any time.

[COMBEFERRE chokes on the cherry. Over his shoulder, SIMPLICE shakes her head and crosses herself again.]

[CAMERA: Cut to an illustration of COMBEFERRE’S two types of rolls.]

ÉPONINE, V.O.: In addition to shamelessly flirting with a judge, Combeferre is making cherry almond sweet rolls and prosciutto and basil savory rolls.

[CAMERA: Cut to SIMPLICE’S station, with SIMPLICE carefully pouring one of her doughs onto her work space while ÉPONINE watches.]

ÉPONINE: Don’t you find that the further in you get, the more competitive you get?

SIMPLICE: Maybe so. I don’t really consider myself a competitive person.

ÉPONINE: Not a lot of competition going on in the nunnery?

[SIMPLICE laughs.]

SIMPLICE: Gracious, no.

ÉPONINE: Well, you must change that thinking! Be a daughter of a wolf, not a meek and mild lamb.

SIMPLICE: I’ll certainly try.

[CAMERA: Cut to an illustration of SIMPLICE’S two types of rolls.]

ÉPONINE, V.O.: Despite not having much competition in the abbey, Simplice is aiming to take down the competition here with a smoked bacon and onion roll and a cinnamon roll, which, much like several of our competitors, is probably too good and too pure for this competition.

[CAMERA: Cut to a wideshot of the bakers at work.]

COURFEYRAC, V.O.: Two different varieties of rolls is quite the test of planning, timing and precision. Individual rolls require even great accuracy when it comes to proving, flavor and baking. A problem that our dear Marius is running headfirst into.

[CAMERA: Cut to MARIUS, who is staring in abject misery at his dough, which has been cut into eleven even pieces.]

MARIUS: Well, this is a problem.

COURFEYRAC: You appear to only have made eleven.

MARIUS: That is correct. And I don’t really have time to go back and recalculate the dough to make them into 12 even rolls. These needed to be in the oven five minutes ago.

COURFEYRAC: So what are you going to do?

[MARIUS sneaks a look over at COSETTE, who is chatting animatedly with Joly.]

MARIUS: Pray for leniency from the judges.

[CAMERA: Zoom in on the different bakers getting their rolls in the oven.]

ÉPONINE, V.O.: With different proving and baking times required for each type of roll, there’s a lot of time for our bakers to sit around and watch the others work. Which is leading to some intentional distracting for some of our bakers…

[CAMERA: Cut to ENJOLRAS’S station, where Grantaire is leaning against the counter, smiling at him.]

GRANTAIRE: So you’re honestly telling me that you taught yourself to bake just so you could get on this show to try to bring awareness to your Cause?

ENJOLRAS: Does that sound so hard to believe?

[GRANTAIRE shakes his head admiringly.]

GRANTAIRE: It sounds absolutely insane. Don’t you think there are easier ways to raise awareness for something?

[ENJOLRAS glares at him.]

ENJOLRAS: I think that if you don’t get back to your station, I’m going to fling icing at you.

GRANTAIRE: Well, fine, but only if you promise to lick it off.

[CAMERA: Cuts to COMBEFERRE’S station, where Courfeyrac is licking the spoon that COMBEFERRE used to mix his dough.]

COMBEFERRE: You probably shouldn’t do that, you know. Dough’s got raw eggs in it.

COURFEYRAC: My mum always let me lick the spoon.

[COMBEFERRE just shakes his head and takes the spoon away from him. COURFEYRAC pouts.]

COURFEYRAC: If you’re going to take the spoon away, you should at least give me something else to lick.

COMBEFERRE: Like what?

[COURFEYRAC winks suggestively at him and COMBEFERRE blushes.]

COMBEFERRE: What, right here in the middle of the tent?

COURFEYRAC: Anytime, anyplace.

[COMBEFERRE shakes his head.]

[CAMERA: Cuts to ÉPONINE at the front of the tent.]

ÉPONINE: With all the talk of licking, you might have been paying attention to the time, but bakers, you’ve got ten minutes left, so, better get a roll on.

[CAMERA: Cuts around the tent to watch as the BAKERS take their rolls out of the oven. The music accelerates to give it a rushed feeling and some of the BAKERS look more and more nervous as time winds down.]

COURFEYRAC: Bready or not, your time is up! Please move your rolls to the end of your station.

[CAMERA: Cut to the outside of the tent, where a steady drizzle is beginning to fall. Cut back inside the tent to COMBEFERRE’S station, where his 24 rolls are ready for judging.]

COSETTE: They smell absolutely amazing.

VALJEAN: Let’s have a look, shall we.

[VALJEAN cuts into one sweet roll and one savory roll.]

VALJEAN: Both rolls are cooked nicely.

[They each take a bite.]

COSETTE: I really like the flavor here, but I do think that you could have taken a bit more time to make sure that your rolls were uniform. You’ve got a few oddly sized ones here.

COMBEFERRE: Yeah, I see that. I think I was a bit rushed.

VALJEAN: Still, good flavor and good effort.

[CAMERA: Cut to ENJOLRAS’S red and black rolls and zoom out to show ENJORLAS and the JUDGES.]

COSETTE: They are quite a bit more red and black than I think I was expecting. I expected the red to be more pink.

[VALJEAN cuts into the rolls.]

VALJEAN: Now see, here, in the black roll, you can tell how tight this is. There’s very little airiness here, which is because of the rye flour. It’s a shame. I think you’ve sacrificed the proper texture to get the colors you wanted.

ENJOLRAS: My sacrifice is nothing compared to the sacrifices of working people across the world.

[Behind him, GRANTAIRE mimes puking. VALJEAN and COSETTE both nod politely while ÉPONINE looks at ENJOLRAS like he’s lost his mind.]

[CAMERA: Cut to Grantaire’s Greek inspired rolls and zoom out to show GRANTAIRE eagerly watching as VALJEAN and COSETTE examine his rolls.]

VALJEAN: You’ve hit the texture of this Tsoureki spot on. And I love what you’ve done with the quail eggs to mimic the eggs you’d normally find on a full loaf.

GRANTAIRE: Thank you.

COSETTE: But I think you needed something else in your savory rolls. You’ve got both olives and feta in there which are both fairly salty. It could have done with something to cut that salt flavor.

GRANTAIRE: What can I say, I’m just a salty individual.

COURFEYRAC: Careful, Grantaire, it’s never good to have a judge accuse you of a salt.

[CAMERA: Cut to JAVERT’S rolls and zoom out to show JAVERT pointedly ignoring VALJEAN while COSETTE examines the rolls closely.]

COSETTE: Tell us about your rolls, Javert, since I know you were keeping it fairly close to the chest earlier.

JAVERT: I’ve made maple pecan sweet rolls and garlic pesto savory rolls. The recipe for the maple pecan rolls comes from a colleague of mine who worked at the prison with me.

[JAVERT looks over at VALJEAN.]

JAVERT: You might recognize the recipe.

VALJEAN: I don’t, but they are delicious. You should pass my congratulations on to him for his recipe.

[JAVERT scowls. COSETTE calls JAVERT’s attention to the garlic rolls.]

COSETTE: I think you might have used just a bit too much garlic in here. It’s overwhelming some of the more subtle tastes in the pesto.

[CAMERA: Cut to Jehan’s two rolls and zoom out to show JEHAN smiling cheerfully as VALJEAN and COSETTE both take bites of his rolls.]

VALJEAN: The pots were a clever idea, but cooking in earthenware can lead to uneven bakes, and unfortunately, they’re a bit underdone.

[VALJEAN cuts into one of the flowerpot rolls to show JEHAN.]

VALJEAN: See, that’s raw dough there.

JEHAN: Oh, yeah, I see that. That’s a shame.

COSETTE: It is a shame, because the flavor is delicious. I especially love the little kick of heat from these chocolate chili rolls.

JEHAN: Thank you.

[CAMERA: Cut to JOLY’S rolls and zoom out to show him watching the JUDGES, a concerned look on his face.]

COSETTE: This date syrup is absolutely delicious, sweet without being overbearing, but it’s caused the rolls to become quite soggy, which is unfortunate.

VALJEAN: I think the problem may be that the rolls weren’t quite cooked through, which would add to the soggy problem.

ÉPONINE: Oh no, you haven’t got a soggy bottom, have you?

VALJEAN: No, it’s more of a soggy everything at this point.

[CAMERA: Cut to MARIUS’S 23 rolls and zoom out to show MARIUS looking sheepish as VALJEAN counts the roll.]

VALJEAN: I thought I noticed something off here. You’ve only got 23 rolls.

MARIUS: I know, I miscounted my savory rolls and didn’t have time to go back and fix it.

VALJEAN: I mean, on the one hand, they’re all nicely uniform, but we did ask for 24 rolls.

COSETTE: They’re also delicious. Which I think can help make up for it, too.

[COSETTE smiles at MARIUS, who blushes furiously.]

[CAMERA: Cut to MUSICHETTA’S rolls and pan up to show her smiling as VALJEAN and COSETTE each take a bite.]

VALJEAN: These are quite well baked.

COSETTE: The flavors are spot on. I was worried about the saffron, but you’ve nailed it.

VALJEAN: Very well done. I have no complaints.

MUSICHETTA: Thank you.

[CAMERA: Cut to SIMPLICE’S rather simple looking rolls and zoom out to show her smiling beatifically at the JUDGES.]

VALJEAN: They’re well baked and well flavored, but there’s something almost…

COSETTE: It’s like they’re missing something.

VALJEAN: Exactly. I think you’ve played it a little safe here.

SIMPLICE: I was advised to be more like a wolf than a lamb, so maybe I’ll find it in me to do so.

VALJEAN: I don’t know if I’d go that far!

[All three laugh.]

[CAMERA: Cut to ENJOLRAS, outside of the tent.]

ENJOLRAS: There’s not a thing that I would change about my bake. I don’t think I sacrificed anything. The symbol of the black and red is much more important, anyway.

[CAMERA: Cut to GRANTAIRE, outside of the tent.]

GRANTAIRE: He’s a raving lunatic.

[CAMERA: Cut to JOLY, outside of the tent.]

JOLY: Obviously I’m a bit disappointed. Hopefully things go well in the technical or I could be in a bit of trouble.

[CAMERA: Cut to JEHAN, outside of the tent.]

JEHAN: Underbaked, apparently.

[JEHAN shrugs, looking unconcerned.]

JEHAN: Ah, well. Not a clean sweep, but. Not too bad.

[CAMERA: Cut to JAVERT, outside of the tent. JAVERT glared wordlessly at the camera, then turns and leaves. Cut to the outside of the tent as the JUDGES and HOSTS reenter to present the technical challenge to the BAKERS.]

COURFEYRAC: Bakers, for today’s technical, we turn to the motherland of bread, France.

ÉPONINE: I think it’s fatherland of bread.

COURFEYRAC: Well, whichever parents spawned the boulangerie, the French are unmatched in their baking.

ÉPONINE: Speaking of unmatched in their baking, Valjean and Cosette will be heading outside. Valjean, since this is your recipe, any advice for the bakers?

[VALJEAN smiles coyly at the BAKERS.]

VALJEAN: Good luck.

COURFEYRAC: That wasn’t really advice, but there we are. Off you go.

[VALJEAN and COSETTE leave. COURFEYRAC and ÉPONINE turn back to the bakers.]

ÉPONINE: Today’s challenge: four identical, crusty baguettes. With four and half hours, you’d best bag-geuetting to work.

COURFEYRAC: On your mark—

ÉPONINE: Get set—

ÉPONINE AND COURFEYRAC: [In unison] Bake!

[CAMERA: Wide shot of the tent as the BAKERS scurry to work. Cut to SIMPLICE, who is measuring out her flour.]

SIMPLICE: I have made baguettes before, but it’s been many years.

[CAMERA: Cut to COMBEFERRE.]

COMBEFERRE: I know what a baguette looks like, and I know what it tastes like, but the question is, can I bake them?

[CAMERA: Cut to VALJEAN and COSETTE outside sitting at a table.]

VALJEAN: A baguette is all about the crisp on the outside. Take this one here—

[VALJEAN lifts a baguette off the table and taps it.]

COSETTE: Oh, yes, quite a nice crust.

VALJEAN: You get that by putting steam in the oven.

COSETTE: Have you included the steam in the oven on the instructions?

VALJEAN: No. At this stage, they should know how to get a great crust on bread. One other thing I’ll be looking for is that it’s been proved for long enough. If you take it out too soon, it’ll split down the side in the oven.

COSETTE: Well, I only hope some of our bakers are even close to being as expert as you are on the topic of bread.

[CAMERA: Cut to ENJOLRAS, who is examining his instructions with a furrowed brow.]

ENJOLRAS: The instructions are quite basic. Mix water, flour, yeast and salt. That’s it.

[CAMERA: Pan around the room, stopping on the various BAKERS as they work.]

COURFEYRAC, V.O.: The bakers may not realize that a baguette dough needs a high water content in order to produce the open texture the judges are looking for.

[CAMERA: Cut to JEHAN, who glances a little concernedly around the room as he kneads his dough.]

JEHAN: I’m wondering if I haven’t put enough water in. Everyone else’s dough looks more wet than mine. But I don’t know if at this stage I can add more water to it.

[CAMERA: Cut to MUSICHETTA, also kneading her dough.]

MUSICHETTA: The instructions don’t say how long to knead it for, or how long to prove it for. That’s what makes this fun, I guess.

[CAMERA: Pan around the tent again, zooming in as BAKERS begin putting their dough in containers to prove.]

ÉPONINE, V.O.: The first prove is critical, as it’s when the baguette’s airy texture is created. But as before, when there’s not much to do besides wait for your bread to prove, some of our bakers can get a bit…restless.

[CAMERA: Cut to Grantaire, scribbling something on parchment paper.]

GRANTAIRE: I’m composing a limerick while I wait. Do you think it’s too big of a leap to rhyme “Enjolras” with “ass”?

ENJOLRAS: Why are you trying to rhyme my name with ass at all?

GRANTAIRE: Well, it’s easier to compliment your booty by rhyming it with your name instead of trying to figure out something that rhymes with “posterior”.

ENJOLRAS: Ulterior.

GRANTAIRE: I’m sorry?

ENJOLRAS: Ulterior rhymes with posterior.

GRANTAIRE: Huh.

[GRANTAIRE taps his chin with his pencil.]

GRANTAIRE: With his glorious posterior/And his motives ulterior…I could make that work.

[CAMERA: Cut to COMBEFERRE accepting a mug of tea from COURFEYRAC.]

ÉPONINE, V.O.: Of course, BAKERS aren’t the only ones who get bored while waiting.

COURFEYRAC: I honestly still can’t believe you remember me telling you about how my mum made me cherry bread.

COMBEFERRE: I told you before, you had nothing to do with it. I really like cherries.

COURFEYRAC: No you don’t. Your favorite fruit is strawberries.

COMBEFERRE: How do you know that?

COURFEYRAC: Um…lucky guess?

COMBEFERRE: Were you listening in to the interview I gave to the camera the first week?

COURFEYRAC: No…maybe…I was just curious.

COMBEFERRE: What were you curious about?

COURFEYRAC: Mostly about how a guy who makes his living studying moths could also be one of the most attractive people I’ve ever seen.

[COMBEFERRE chokes on his tea while COURFEYRAC sips his blithely.]

COURFEYRAC: And don’t try to deny it. I know you’ve seen the Twitter comments.

COMBEFERRE: Did you see the one last week that said that you and I should just get on with it and date already?

[It’s COURFEYRAC’S turn to splutter on his tea while COMBEFERRE smiles.]

[CAMERA: Pan across the tent as the BAKERS take their dough out.]

ÉPONINE, V.O.: 100% linen couche is a traditional French cloth used to help the baguettes keep their shape during the second prove.

[CAMERA: Pan across the tent watching as the BAKERS shape their dough and transfer it into the couche. After a brief proof, the BAKERS start putting their bread on baking sheets and scoring the top.]

COURFEYRAC, V.O.: There’s no mention of steam in their instructions and only some of the bakers have spotted this.

[CAMERA: Cut to MARIUS, pouring water into a tray in the oven.]

MARIUS: The water should create some steam which I think will help make it crispy. Hopefully. If I’ve done it right, anyway.

ÉPONINE, V.O.: Not all of the bakers have realized the secret to Valjean’s perfectly crisp baguette.

[CAMERA: Cut to Enjolras, who is sitting in front of his oven fanning himself.]

ENJOLRAS: If I manage to screw up a baguette, I don’t think they’ll let me back into France.

GRANTAIRE: Yeah, it’d be a shame to disappoint Patria, wouldn’t it?

[CAMERA: Cut to COURFEYRAC at the front of the tent.]

COURFEYRAC: Alright, bakers, five minutes left. As the French would say, I hope that’s one egg – that is, I hope that’s un oeuf.

[CAMERA: Pan around the tent as the BAKERS remove their bread from the oven. Some look clearly happy with the results; others seem disappointed. All quickly scramble to arrange their bread before time is up. Cut to ÉPONINE at the front of the tent.]

ÉPONINE: Bakers, as they say in ‘Beauty and the Beast’, “Marie, the baguettes, hurry up” and place them in front of your picture on the gingham altar.

[CAMERA: Pan across the row of baguettes on the front table.]

COURFEYRAC, V.O.: What will Valjean and Cosette make up our bakers’ attempts at a French classic? Can anyone possibly live up to Valjean’s absurd standards when it comes to bread? And how did he learn so much about bread in the first place? Well, there’s only one way to find out…  



	2. Technical Judging and Showstopper

[CAMERA: Zoom in on VALJEAN, who looks down the row of bakers waiting for judgment.]  


VALJEAN: What Cosette and I are looking for today are four equally-sized baguettes with a crisp crust and a cut on top. What we’re not looking for are ciabattas. So, let’s start here.

[CAMERA: Cut to MARIUS’S four baguettes, pan up to show VALJEAN as he picks up a baguette and breaks it in half.]

VALJEAN: These are actually pretty good.

COSETTE: I can hear a nice crunch there, which is always an appetizing thing to hear.

VALJEAN: It’s crispy, and there’s a good structure inside.

COSETTE: Really good right out the gate. It’ll be hard to top that.

[CAMERA: Cut to MARIUS, who is trying hard not to look too relieved. Cut to ENJOLRAS’S four baguettes before cutting to VALJEAN, who picks up a baguette to show COSETTE.]

VALJEAN: Do you see underneath here, this line? That means the baguettes are slightly underproved. But all in all, they’re not bad.

COSETTE: The flavor’s good. Just needed more crispy on the outside.

[CAMERA: Cut to ENJOLRAS, who nods his head once in acknowledgment. Cut to JEHAN’S baguettes, then cut to VALJEAN, who squeezes the bread.]

VALJEAN: There’s a good crust on these but they look a bit more like ciabattas than they do baguettes.

[CAMERA: Cut to JEHAN, who barely shrugs as if this critique doesn’t particularly bother him. Cut back to VALJEAN and COSETTE.]

COSETTE: Overall not bad though. There’s a nice open structure here.

VALJEAN: Moving on…

[CAMERA: Cut to MUSICHETTA’S baguettes and pan up to VALJEAN.]

VALJEAN: Well, at least they’re all the same size, which is about the best thing I can say for them. You can see the split that means they were underproved. And the color’s not great.

[CAMERA: Cut to MUSICHETTA, who winces slightly. Cut to GRANTAIRE’S baguettes.]

COSETTE: I think these look pretty good.

VALJEAN: They do. The only problem is that they’re underbaked. They needed another five, ten minutes in the oven. That would have stopped them from being as soft as they are.

COSETTE: They’re fine to eat, though.

[CAMERA: Cut to GRANTAIRE, whose expression reveals nothing. Cut to COMBEFERRE’S four baguettes.]

VALJEAN: These also weren’t in the oven for long enough.

COSETTE: The shapes are uniform and the inside’s nice, though.

[CAMERA: Cut to COMBEFERRE, who looks relieved that the judgment wasn’t worse. Cut to JAVERT’S four baguettes and pan up to VALJEAN, who looks unimpressed.]

VALJEAN: Oh dear. Four soft pieces of bread which weren’t steamed in the oven. The cuts are terrible, the color’s terrible.

COSETTE: I’m feeling a bit sorry for whomever made this bread.

[CAMERA: Cut to JAVERT, who looks positively murderous for a moment. Cut to SIMPLICE’S baguettes.]

VALJEAN: This one had the steam right, but the cuts are wrong and the loaves themselves are too short.

COSETTE: And they’re not very crispy, are they?

VALJEAN: No, they’re not. But they taste alright.

[CAMERA: Cut to SIMPLICE, who is holding her rosary beads in one hand. She looks quite relaxed, all things considered. Cut to JOLY’S four loaves and up to VALJEAN, who is shaking his head.]

VALJEAN: We’re back in Italy again with the ciabatta. The shape on these loaves is all wrong. The loaves are too fat – they need to be longer and thinner for a baguette.

COSETTE: It’s got a nice color underneath, though.

VALJEAN: It’s barely baked.

[CAMERA: Cut to JOLY, whose eyes widen as he shakes his head just slightly. Cut to wide shot of the gingham-covered table as VALJEAN and COSETTE move up and down the table, muttering to themselves.]

COURFEYRAC, V.O.: After such a brutal judging, some of our bakers may be finding themselves in a steamy situation going into the showstopper.

VALJEAN: Alright. In 9th place, whose is this?

[CAMERA: Cut to JOLY, who raises his hand sheepishly. Cut back to VALJEAN and COSETTE]

VALJEAN: If this were a ciabatta competition, you’d still have some issues but definitely not what we were looking for with baguettes.

COSETTE: 8th place is this one.

[CAMERA: Cut to JAVERT, who doesn’t raise his hand but crosses his arms in front of his chest. Cut back to COSETTE, who smiles kindly at him.]

COSETTE: If you had put steam in the oven, it would have helped quite a bit.

ÉPONINE, V.O.: Musichetta takes 7th place, Simplice takes 6th, Combeferre 5th and Jehan is 4th.

[CAMERA: Cut to each of the four mentioned BAKERS, who raise their hands in turn. All four look relieved to have not been in the bottom two. Cut back to VALJEAN and COSETTE.]

VALJEAN: Number 3 is this one.

[CAMERA: Cut to GRANTAIRE, who looks pleasantly surprised as he raises his hand.]

VALJEAN: You had good steam in the oven and the size is nice and equal. Just leave them in for longer and you’ll be fine.

GRANTAIRE: I might have been a bit distracted when I took them out.

VALJEAN: Well if you keep your mind on your baking, that will help too.

COSETTE: And who is number 2, here?

[CAMERA: Cut to ENJOLRAS, who slowly raises his hand.]

COSETTE: They were a pretty good bake. You had good slashes on top.

VALJEAN: And number one…

[CAMERA: Cut to MARIUS, who looks as if he can barely believe it as he raises his hand. Zoom out slightly to show the other bakers, who are mostly clapping for him, with the exception of JAVERT, who is still glaring at VALJEAN, and ENJOLRAS, who appears to be glaring at the world. Cut back to VALJEAN, who looks almost as surprised as MARIUS that MARIUS won.]

VALJEAN: A little bit longer in the oven would have been better, if I’m honest, but…they’ve got a nice crust and a good texture. Well done.

[CAMERA: Cut to MARIUS outside the tent, grinning like an idiot.]

MARIUS: Oh, I might have to have a glass of champagne to celebrate tonight. Not too many though. Just the one.

[He pauses to consider.]

MARIUS: Well, maybe two.

[CAMERA: Cut to ENJOLRAS outside the tent, still glaring. He talks through clenched teeth.]

ENJOLRAS: I came in second place to that…

[He takes a deep breath before repeating in a calmer voice.]

ENJOLRAS: I got second.

[CAMERA: Cut to MUSICHETTA outside the tent. She looks worried.]

MUSICHETTA: I think I’m potentially in trouble.

[CAMERA: Cut to JOLY outside the tent. He is gnawing his lip worriedly and his eyes look a little red.]

JOLY: That went very badly, obviously. I’ll have to do better in the showstopper.

[CAMERA: Cut to JAVERT outside the tent, who looks murderous and is muttering to himself.]

JAVERT: Steam in the oven…I’ll give him so much steam in the oven that he won’t know what hit him.

ÉPONINE, V.O.: Only one bready challenge remain before Valjean and Cosette decide who’s really risen to the challenge this week and who’s fallen flat and going home.

[CAMERA: Cut to COSETTE, VALJEAN, ÉPONINE and COURFEYRAC sitting at a table outside the tent.]

COURFEYRAC: So who’s in line for star baker this week, Cosette?

COSETTE: It’s quite tricky this week to know. Some of the bakers who were in the top during the signature struggled in the technical.

VALJEAN: I agree. So I think at the moment we’re looking at consistency. I think that means Enjolras and Grantaire have to be in the top.

COSETTE: I think we can also consider Sister Simplice. She’s been solid in both, even if her signature was a little simple, and if she nails the showstopper, that could put her right up there.

ÉPONINE: Let’s talk about the bakers that have been struggling this week.

VALJEAN: We’ve got the same problem as with the top bakers in terms of consistency, but I think that Joly is in real danger here. He underperformed in the signature, and was a mess in the technical.

COSETTE: What do you think about Javert?

VALJEAN: What about Javert?

COSETTE: He was last in the technical, which is a very dangerous place to be in.

VALJEAN: Oh, right. But his signature was quite good. And then there’s Marius.

COSETTE: Marius? But he was first in the technical.

VALJEAN: And he didn’t have 24 rolls to present us in the signature.

COURFEYRAC: Not to interrupt, but we knead to get to the showstopper, so let’s let this argument ferment for a bit, shall we?

[CAMERA: Cut to the inside of the tent, where the BAKERS are awaiting the showstopper. Pan across as COSETTE, VALJEAN, COURFEYRAC and ÉPONINE line up at the front.]

ÉPONINE: Bakers, for your showstopper this week, Valjean and Cosette would like you to create a beautiful, decorative French couronne loaf. It can be any dough you like, filled with any fillings you like, sweet or savory.

COURFEYRAC: Valjean and Cosette have asked for perfect proving, perfect baking, perfect filling, perfect flavor – how perfectly irritating.

ÉPONINE: Well, it is a bake fit for royalty, after all.

COURFEYRAC: Fit for royalty, destined for Valjean’s stomach.

ÉPONINE: Bakers, you’ve got four hours. On your mark—

COURFEYRAC: Get set—

ÉPONINE AND COURFEYRAC: [In unison] Bake!

[CAMERA: Cut to VALJEAN, outside the tent.]

VALJEAN: A couronne, or crown, is a traditional French loaf normally served at Christmas time. While this is a very traditional loaf, we’re still looking for innovative flavors and fantastic decorations to differentiate these loaves.

[CAMERA: Cut to COSETTE, outside the tent.]

COSETTE: We hope some of the bakers will be very ambitious, and I just hope that the personality of the bakers will come through with what they’re making.

[CAMERA: Cut to inside the tent, where the BAKERS are hastily getting to work mixing ingredients for their doughs, with the exception of ENJOLRAS, who is standing behind his station and conspicuously not doing anything.]

GRANTAIRE: What are you doing?

ENJOLRAS: Nothing.

GRANTAIRE: No shi—I mean, no kidding, Sherlock. But why are you doing nothing? What are you waiting for?

ENJOLRAS: I’m protesting the very idea of this bake.

[GRANTAIRE stops mid-kneading and stares at ENJOLRAS.]

GRANTAIRE: Are you out of your damn mind?

ENJOLRAS: I won’t participate in a bake that seeks to uphold the legitimacy of the monarchy and its continued legacy of oppression, colonialism and more.

GRANTAIRE: You dunce, this bake has nothing to do with the monarchy or the legitimacy of…whatever.

[ENJOLRAS crosses his arms in front of his chest.]

ENJOLRAS: I’m still not participating. It’s a symbol.

GRANTAIRE: Yeah, a symbol of your stupidity.

[ENJOLRAS’S jaw tightens and he says nothing. GRANTAIRE sighs and steps around his station to walk over to ENJOLRAS. His voice is softer, persuasive as he talks to ENJOLRAS.]

GRANTAIRE: If you’d stop being an idiot for a minute, you’d realize that this is an opportunity for education and reaching people much more so than some pointless protest. Make the bake itself into a symbol against the monarchy.

[Despite himself, ENJOLRAS is reluctantly intrigued.]

ENJOLRAS: What do you mean?

GRANTAIRE: I mean, I don’t know, decorate it with guillotines and bread portraits of Trotsky. Whatever. But don’t get yourself thrown out of the Bake Off just for refusing to bake a damn loaf of bread.

[For a moment, ENJOLRAS just stares at GRANTAIRE. Then he slowly starts to smile.]

ENJOLRAS: That’s…a remarkably good idea. Thanks. But…why do you care?

[GRANTAIRE just smiles as he heads back to his station.]

GRANTAIRE: Because then I’d have to spend all my time looking at someone else. And besides, then the viewing numbers will crumble, the show will get canceled…it wouldn’t be good for anyone.

ENJOLRAS: Oh, so this is your altruistic side coming out?

GRANTAIRE: Well. Something like that.

COURFEYRAC, V.O.: Cosette and Valjean are expecting a wide variety of flavors. Most of the bakers will be adding their flavors at the kneading stage, which allows the flavors to develop as the dough proves.

[CAMERA: Cut to SIMPLICE, who is mixing fruit into her dough as COSETTE and VALJEAN approach.]

COSETTE: Tell us about your filling and decorations.

SIMPLICE: Since I’m a nun, I figured that’d be a bit of a fun theme to draw on for inspiration. I’m doing a take on a Bishop’s Cake but as a bread instead.

VALJEAN: That’s an interesting idea. A Bishop’s Cake is of course a type of fruitcake but the texture is pretty close to bread already. What are you doing for decorations?

SIMPLICE: Well, since the point of a Bishop’s Cake is to cut it open and see the filling that looks like stained glass, I wanted to try cutting some windows into the sides of the bread instead of doing the traditional slice to reveal the filling.

[VALJEAN is quiet and SIMPLICE looks up.]

SIMPLICE: Is there a concern with my plan?

[VALJEAN just smiles and SIMPLICE laughs.]

SIMPLICE: Well, if there is it’s in God’s hands now.

[CAMERA: Cut to JEHAN, who is kneading his bread.]

JEHAN: When in doubt, I tend to fall back on what I know, so I’m doing a “flour power” theme and using both hibiscus syrup and edible hibiscus flowers. I grew the hibiscus myself in a pot.

[CAMERA: Cut to COMBEFERRE, who has already put his bread in the proving drawer and is sitting with Courfeyrac drinking tea.]

COMBEFERRE: This is the part that I hate the most, waiting for stuff to rise. It makes me uneasy.

ÉPONINE, V.O.: Combeferre is making a couronne stuffed with sweet fruit and marzipan and decorated with moths.

COMBEFERRE: The biggest challenge for me will be not going overboard with detail on my moths. They’re kind of my life study.

COURFEYRAC: I’m sure you’ll be fine. I have faith in you. And worse comes to worst, I can always distract you.

COMBEFERRE: Oh, you can, can you?

[COURFEYRAC leans over and kisses COMBEFERRE’S cheek. COMBEFERRE promptly spills his tea all over himself.]

COURFEYRAC: Yeah, I think I can.

[CAMERA: Cut to JOLY, who is taking his dough out of the proving drawer.]

VALJEAN: So what are you making for us today?

JOLY: I wanted to stick to sort of classic flavors, so I’m filling it with mozzarella, prosciutto and basil, and I’m shaping it to look like a brain.

COSETTE: Like a what?

JOLY: Like a brain. We just finished our neuro unit in med school, and I thought it’d be fun to make the couronne shaped like a brain.

VALJEAN: A couronne is meant to look like it sits on top of the head, not inside of it.

[JOLY laughs.]

JOLY: Yeah, I know

VALJEAN: Well…good luck.

[CAMERA: Cut to MARIUS, who is carefully spreading a cinnamon mix over his rolled out dough while ÉPONINE watches.]

MARIUS: I am making a cinnamon roll couronne. It’s got cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, and pecans in the mixture and it’ll have icing for the top.

ÉPONINE: What made you want to do cinnamon roll for your flavor?

MARIUS: Well, I have this handkerchief from this girl that I, well, um, that I like.

[MARIUS blushes furiously.]

MARIUS: It smells like her, and the smell has always reminded me of cinnamon. It’s a great sort of perfume – cinnamon-y, and musky with a sort of spicy scent.

[ÉPONINE stares at him blankly.]

ÉPONINE: That, um, that sounds like you’re describing men’s cologne.

MARIUS: Yeah, it’s great, isn’t it?

[CAMERA: Cut to MUSICHETTA, who is rolling her dough into a long roll.]

COURFEYRAC, V.O.: Stuffed breads can be tricky to bake. The more filling the bakers add, the more time the bread will need in the oven.

MUSICHETTA: I decided to go with my roots and make a nursery school themed loaf. It’s filled with chocolate hazelnut spread – since apparently we’re not allowed to use brand names – which is something the kids I teach really enjoy – and I do, too. And I’m going to decorate it on the outside with school supplies shaped out of dough.

[CAMERA: Cut to ÉPONINE at the front of the tent.]

ÉPONINE: Alright, bread-ren, your time is halfway up!

[CAMERA: Cut to ENJOLRAS, who is feverishly working to construct something out of dough.]

ENJOLRAS: Since I obviously didn’t practice, this bake is entirely theoretical. I am using Rose Shneiderman’s famous phrase “bread and roses” as the basis for my theme and doing a rosemary and herb filling. The phrase indicates a worker’s right to more than just basic sustenance.

[Behind ENJOLRAS, GRANTAIRE rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling.]

[CAMERA: Pan around the tent as the bakers finish shaping their loaves and putting them into the oven. Cut to Grantaire, who is kneeling in on his hands and knees in front of his oven, watching anxiously as his bake cooks.]

GRANTAIRE: This is what I said I wouldn’t do. I said I wouldn’t kneel on the ground in front of my oven like a lunatic, yet here I am.

[GRANTAIRE looks over his shoulder to see ENJOLRAS, who had been walking past GRANTAIRE’S station to the back of the tent. ENJOLRAS has stopped to stare at GRANTAIRE’S rear end, and GRANTAIRE turns back to the camera, grinning.]

GRANTAIRE: Then again, maybe not such a lunatic idea after all.

COURFEYRAC, V.O.: Grantaire is basing his couronne on “Apollo’s Crown” and filling his Greek-inspired loaf with figs and goat cheese.

[CAMERA: Cut to COURFEYRAC at the front of the tent.]

COURFEYRAC: Bakers, the moment you’ve been breading is almost here. 10 minutes left!

[CAMERA: Pan across the tent as the BAKERS quickly remove their couronnes from their ovens. Some are drizzling icing or glazes on their breads; others are doing last minute touch-ups.]

ÉPONINE: Bakers, time is up! Please step away from your bakes.

[CAMERA: Cut to COSETTE and VALJEAN at the front of the tent. SIMPLICE has placed her loaf on the table in front of them.]

VALJEAN: It looks fantastic. What really impresses me is the technique you used to cut the windows into the loaf. It may not be traditional, but it is great to look at.

COSETTE: I’d be very proud if I had made that. Well done.

SIMPLICE: Thank you so much.

[CAMERA: Cut to JEHAN carrying his “Flour power” bake forward to place it on the table.]

COSETTE: It looks a little clumsy, if I’m being honest.

JEHAN: Oh, sure.

VALJEAN: But the taste is what matters, and this hibiscus really ran the risk of being overly sweet. But I think this tastes stunning.

[CAMERA: Cut to ENJOLRAS carrying his “People’s Crown” to the front.]

VALJEAN: These are rather unusual decorations on the side here. What are these?

ENJOLRAS: They are miniature bread loaves and roses. Rose Schneiderman, who was a prominent feminist and socialist, said in 1912, “The worker must have bread, but she must have roses, too.” So I’ve drawn on that theme.

COSETTE: It’s quite a unique design, and the taste is good, too.

VALJEAN: We noticed that you didn’t start working on your bread right away. Was there some kind of issue?

ENJOLRAS: A momentary crisis of faith, but I had some help working it out.

VALJEAN: Well you should thank whoever helped you, because it tastes delicious.

[CAMERA: Cut to GRANTAIRE, who is unable to stop himself from smiling as he brings his bake up to the front of the tent.]

VALJEAN: So you’re carrying the Greek theme forward to this bake, correct?

GRANTAIRE: Right, that’s the inspiration for the filling as well as the decoration. I’m calling it “Apollo’s Crown”, and you can say it came to me by divine intervention.

COSETTE: The design is lovely, but you’ve yet to disappoint on that front.

VALJEAN: All around, I think it’s an excellent bake.

[CAMERA: Pan to watch GRANTAIRE carry his bake back to his station. After he sets his bake down, ENJOLRAS turns back and offers him his hand for a high-five. GRANTAIRE hesitates for only a moment before giving him a high-five. Cut to JAVERT, who is bringing an intricately-decorated loaf to the front.]

JAVERT: It’s an apricot couronne.

VALJEAN: Apricot? That’s one of my favorite fruits. And what’s this design around the outside?

JAVERT: It’s the story of the inspiration behind the loaf. See, back when I was working at the prison, there was this inmate, 24601, and—

VALJEAN: I’m sorry, I don’t know if we have time to listen to the whole story, but I’d love to hear it later. Maybe over drinks tonight at the pub?

[JAVERT glares at VALJEAN and shrugs. COSETTE clears her throat.]

COSETTE: The taste is lovely and it’s baked wonderfully.

[CAMERA: Cut to COMBEFERRE, who brings his moth-inspired bake to the front.]

VALJEAN: It’s light, it’s airy, it’s fruity. I have no complaints.

COSETTE: I love the attention to detail on the moths here. Very lovely.

[CAMERA: Cut to JOLY, who grins as he brings his bake to the front.]

COSETTE: Honestly, I think it’s a bit of a compliment if I tell you that it’s gross-looking.

VALJEAN: It definitely looks like a brain. I’m just concerned it doesn’t look enough like a couronne.

[CAMERA: Cut to MARIUS, who smiles at COSETTE as he brings his cinnamon roll couronne to the front.]

MARIUS: I, um, I hope you enjoy.

VALJEAN: I love the scent coming off of this. It’s got a great spice to it. In fact…I think I may have a cologne that smells like this.

COSETTE: It tastes delicious, too. And though the design is simple, the slashes you’ve made line up so perfectly with the twisting. It’s incredible.

MARIUS: You’re incredible.

COSETTE: What?

MARIUS: I mean, thank you.

[CAMERA: Cut to MUSICHETTA, who carries her bake to the front.]

VALJEAN: The bake is wonderful on this, but I wish you’d gone with a more adventurous flavor.

COSETTE: I agree. I think this is a crowd-pleaser, for sure, but a little on the safe side. The design is quite nice, though.

[CAMERA: Cut to COSETTE, VALJEAN, ÉPONINE and COURFEYRAC back at the table outside the tent.]

ÉPONINE: I think that was a showstopper fit for royalty.

VALJEAN: As a whole, the bakers did really well with this challenge. The detail and flavors were quite good.

COURFEYRAC: Javert was trouble coming into this, wasn’t he? Was his loaf enough to get him out of hot water?

VALJEAN: He was almost last in the technical, but that apricot couronne was stunning. And the decoration was unique.

COSETTE: I think that all the bakers that excelled today kept the flavors clean and the designs interesting. Look at Grantaire – he made that couronne look like an olive wreath and it tasted lovely.

VALJEAN: And he was third in the technical, too.

ÉPONINE: There were a few who were in trouble heading into the showstopper. Did any of them redeem themselves?

VALJEAN: I think you ran into some people trying to do too much, or focusing too much on one aspect, and that became a problem for them.

COURFEYRAC: Do you think you know who’s turn it is to leave today?

COSETTE: I think we do.

[CAMERA: Cut to the nine BAKERS sitting in a row in the tent. COURFEYRAC, ÉPONINE, VALJEAN and COSETTE enter and stand in the front of the tent.]

COURFEYRAC: Bakers, I get the fun job this week. This week’s star baker has never been accused of being the brightest bulb in the bunch. In fact, you might consider him a roll short of two dozen. But with a first place in the technical and a stunning cinnamon couronne, star baker goes to Marius.

[CAMERA: Zoom on MARIUS, who almost falls over in shock. Everyone is clapping MARIUS on the shoulder and applauding, except for ENJOLRAS and GRANTAIRE, who are cheering but appear to be holding hands, impeding their applause. Cut to ÉPONINE, whose smile is a little sad.]

ÉPONINE: I’ve got the sadder job this week. We can’t take everyone with us, and I’m afraid that we will be saying goodbye this week…to Joly.

[CAMERA: Zoom to JOLY, who nods in understanding, though he’s smiling. Cut to JOLY outside the tent, still smiling.]

JOLY: Listen, after how bad a time I had it in the signature and the technical, I figured luck wasn’t on my side today – though that’s normally my boyfriend’s line, not mine – and if I was going to go out, I wanted to go out doing something fun that I enjoy.

[CAMERA: Cut to MARIUS, beaming as he stands outside of the tent.]

MARIUS: I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. I don’t know if I could get happier than this, honestly.

[CAMERA: Cut to footage of COSETTE giving MARIUS a hug inside the tent before cutting back to MARIUS, whose grin softens.]

MARIUS: Alright, maybe I could get happier.

[CAMERA: Cut to ENJOLRAS, who is frowning at the camera.]

ENJOLRAS: I don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s nothing going on between Grantaire and me. He…he helped me out today. We’re friends. He believes in me, and I believe in him.

[CAMERA: Cut to GRANTAIRE, who’s grinning.]

GRANTAIRE: A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.

[CAMERA: Cut to credits.]

**[END OF EPISODE]**  



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